The holidays can feel impossibly heavy when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. While others move on with celebrations and traditions, your grief may feel closer to the surface. If you’re struggling to get through this season, know that your grief is valid and you don’t have to pretend to be in the holiday spirit.
Why Grief Feels Stronger During the Holidays
Grief during the holidays often carries an added weight. Familiar traditions highlight who’s missing, and gatherings can feel incomplete. The expectation to be joyful can make your sadness feel even more isolating. When you’re coping with loss during the holidays, give yourself permission to feel exactly what you feel is the first step toward healing.
12 Practical Ways to Cope with Grief During the Holidays
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
There’s no “right” way to grieve. You may cry one moment and laugh the next. Both are ok. Feeling joy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loved one, and feeling sadness doesn’t mean you’re failing to cope.
2. Modify Traditions
You don’t have to keep every tradition exactly the same. Hold on to what brings comfort and let go of what feels too painful. Even small changes, adjusting activities, changing the timing, or altering the food, can make the holidays feel more manageable. Small changes can ease the weight of missing your loved one during the holidays.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
You don’t have to pretend to be ok during the holidays. It’s ok to skip the office party or stay longer than you can handle. Protecting your emotional energy isn’t selfish; it’s part of dealing with grief.
4. Communicate Your Needs Clearly
People want to support you, but often don’t know how. Let them know what feels supportive and what doesn’t. Simple requests can help others show up in ways that feel respectful and meaningful.
5. Honor Their Memory Intentionally
Finding a way to acknowledge your loved one can bring comfort. Lighting a candle during dinner, sharing stories, or making a donation in their name allows space for remembrance without forcing celebration.
6. Plan Ahead for Difficult Moments
Anticipate when your grief might hit the hardest and decide in advance how you’ll handle those moments. Maybe step outside for some air during the toast at midnight or simply express your emotions in the moment. Having a plan helps when emotions feel too much.
7. Take Care of Your Physical Health
Grief can be exhausting, especially during a busy season. Prioritize sleep, eating healthy meals when you can, and moving your body gently. Caring for your body supports your ability to cope emotionally.
8. Limit Social Media if Needed
Seeing other people’s holiday celebrations online can increase your feelings of loss. Taking a break from social media or logging off entirely can help protect your emotional well-being.
9. Find Meaningful Ways to Give Back
Some people find purpose by volunteering, donating to a cause their loved one cared about, or helping someone else in need. Service doesn’t erase the pain, but it can provide meaningful moments during a difficult season.
10. Connect with Others Who Understand
Isolation can make grief feel heavier during the holiday season. Reaching out to friends, family, or a grief support group can remind you that you’re not alone. When you’re missing a loved one, talking with someone who truly understands can be deeply comforting.
11. Create a Grief Plan for the Day
Keeping to a routine helps when emotions feel chaotic. Create a balance between social commitments and alone time. Knowing what comes next can reduce anxiety during unpredictable holiday grief.
12. Remember That the Season Will End
The holidays will not last forever, and neither will the sharp pain of loss. Getting through the holiday season after loss is an accomplishment all by itself. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate the coming weeks.
Don’t Navigate Holiday Grief Alone
If you’re struggling with grief during the holidays, support is available. Residential Hospice offers free bereavement services, not just to families of our patients, but to anyone in our community experiencing loss. Our compassionate team offers grief counseling, support groups, and resources to help you cope. Contact us to learn more about our grief services.